Sexual Misconduct in the Church: The Tightrope of Grace and Accountability
It seems like every other month, if not more often, there’s a new sexual misconduct scandal unearthed at a church or Christian organisation; some of the most recent examples are at Christianity Today and Hillsong, not to mention the closer to home situation at Arise. Sadly, these types of revelations are never all that shocking to me. The modern, particularly the evangelical, church has a distorted relationship to sex and power (something we hope to have captured in recent pieces on Metanoia) and it is unsurprising, although still devastating, that this leads to instances of misconduct and abuse. There is much that could be and has been said about the cultural structures that contribute to an environment where abuse can go unchecked, and work in this area is imperative for advocating for cultural changes for churches. In addition to these reflections though, is the question of how we should respond when abuse and misconduct happens in Christian organisations. How do we balance our commitment to grace and the givenness of Christ’s unconditional relationship with the need for accountability and safety within Christian community?
When allegations concerning Hillsong’s Brian Houston became public in March 2022, I spent a number of days watching how Hillsong tried to manage the fallout. Two key elements stuck out to me: firstly, the church leadership’s unwillingness to acknowledge the harm caused by wrongdoing; and secondly, the way that the wider church community rallied around the Houston family. This played out publicly, online and on social media. On a now deleted Instagram post where Houston’s daughter Laura Toggs talks of choosing grace but still manages not to acknowledge the very real victims of her family’s actions, upwards of a thousand comments responded with messages of encouragement and love. These messages nearly all failed to acknowledge the hurt being felt not just by those who had been harmed directly by Houston’s actions, but by those in the Hillsong community who had been hurt by others and for whom this situation could be considered a significant breach of trust.
It is too easy to look at what Houston is alleged to have done and to claim that this was simply minor sexual misconduct, that he sent a few inappropriate messages while his judgement was impaired. The response from Hillsong and their community is a symptom of a wider sickness. The response, or lack thereof, says to survivors of abuse that the church cannot be trusted to take allegations seriously. It says that the church’s greatest duty of care is to those with power, not those who have had their power taken from them.
The Christianity Today story is refreshingly different. These two articles (here and here), published in the middle of March 2022, detail the way that this organisation had historically responded to allegations of sexual misconduct, and how they are actively working to change their processes now. I thoroughly recommend taking the time to read these two pieces. They are challenging, but offer a hopeful picture of how a Christian organisation could start to right structural wrongs. After more than 12 years of failed leadership, Christianity Today has now opted for transparency and restoration, and a model that takes seriously the harm that is caused by sexual misconduct and abuse.
Fundamentally, at the heart of these two distinct narratives is a tension between grace and accountability. Daniel Silliman’s piece for Christianity Today details the ways that the organisation failed to care well for its employees prior to the investigation beginning in 2019. One example that Silliman notes is the organisation’s leadership’s response to Olatokunbo Olawoye’s, their former advertising director’s, arrest for charges of a sexual nature. They “urged the staff to show Olawoye grace and remember that everyone is innocent until proven guilty.” While HR did offer counselling to employees who may have been troubled by his arrest, no further investigation into his actions while at the company occurred, despite numerous complaints having been raised about Olawoye’s conduct in the workplace in the past. In this situation, easy grace, with no need for forgiveness or repentance, trumped accountability and care for those who had been harmed.
Similar to Christianity Today’s work culture prior to the investigation, Hillsong’s response to the allegations about Houston’s behaviour was to rally together, and to offer love and care to the Houston family. Grace to Houston wins out against accountability to protect those who were harmed.
The reason I found Christianity Today’s later response to be so refreshing was their acknowledgement of how flawed their prior systems had been. While they did have HR reporting structures, which is more than many churches can boast, formal complaints were not being written. The policy of grace meant that a slap of the wrist was the most action that was taken. This is a story that is familiar for many of us in Christian environments. I can think of all too many instances when friends have told me about how their stories of abuse and inappropriate sexual conduct have been brushed off by the church leaders that they have approached. David Farrier’s excellent, and deeply troubling, recent exposés of Arise Church have contributed even more examples: stories of uplining accounts of abuse rather than creating systems of accountability for perpetrators, of isolating those who speak up and of sheltering abusers, of a culture of sexual shame which makes discussions of sexual misconduct even more difficult (excellently explored by another recent contribution to Metanoia).
What if, instead of these stories of coverups, shame, and the perpetuation of an abusive sexual culture, our churches and Christian organisations were known for being places of safety and care for those who have been harmed? What would it look like, and what would it take, for Christians to listen well to the stories of those who have been abused, and to offer accountability, protection, and trust? Does this have to happen at the expense of grace to those who perpetrate such crimes? Or is there a place for the church in the tension between grace and accountability?
As I write these questions I am all too aware of the scale of this problem, not just in churches but throughout the world. For too many people, interpersonal relationships are fraught with danger caused by power imbalances that contribute to a culture of sexual powerplays and abuse. I am devastated by the way that the church is far too often a part of this issue. While they may not yet have it all sorted out, I wonder if Christianity Today’s response might give us some insight into a way forward.
Firstly, the focus on transparency. The decision to launch two separate investigations into their organisation, and to publish the findings of both, is vulnerable and potentially incredibly damaging to their image. However, they offer these investigations as a fresh start. They also occurred prior to any public allegations. The investigation was not reactionary, but an active response to a commitment to offer better care to their employees.
Secondly, the importance of knowing the current culture. The first step to being able to make change is to know what is currently happening. How many people in our churches have had allegations of abuse ignored or shut down? How many people stay quiet because there is no framework for safe reporting? A friend working in advocacy in this space recently told me of her request for greater education about sexual misconduct for pastors which was met with the response “but this isn’t a very big issue in our movement.” How do we know how big the issue is without thorough investigation?
Unconditional grace is central to what it means to be Christian. However, this grace does not excuse sexual misconduct, or remove the responsibility for the church or Christian organisation to ensure accountability from perpetrators, and care for those who have been harmed. Instead of suddenly reacting when these allegations go public, churches need to have transparent and thorough systems in place to safeguard their communities and minimise retraumatisation in the wake of abuse. Proactive measures such of these could serve to hold the tension between gracious forgiveness and accountability.
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Jaimee van Gemerden is editor at Metanoia.
