Have You Talked About Gender and Sexuality Today?

Two weeks ago I had the privilege of doing a seminar around engagement with LGBTQIA+ youth at the Baptist Youth Movement youth leaders training weekend. Coincidentally, I gave my seminar at the beginning of Pride Month (happy Pride!) Since giving that talk I have had quite a few conversations regarding what I talked about: questions surrounding Queerness, the church, and how Christians communities need to have the kōrero sooner rather than later.

There are a few conversations which need to happen. How do myself and my faith community understand sex, gender, and sexuality in correlation to the Bible? How do these beliefs play out in our actions as a faith community? What are my own thoughts around God, gender, and sexuality? These are big questions and they will take time to unpack, and it has taken us too long for many church communities to talk about these things. Personally I was relieved and excited when Metanoia published pieces on sex-talk and sin and purity culture. From my experience the church and Christians have shied away from discussing these topics well. These conversations are important when it comes to caring, understanding and doing life with our Queer whānau in Aotearoa; if we have a good understanding and foundation around sex and gender it makes understanding LGBTQIA+ topics so much easier, more refreshing, and more life giving.  

I’ve talked to people who explain that they or their faith communities don’t need to have these conversations as they don’t have Queer people in their church. I call BS. In a 2021 household economic survey it revealed that 1 in 20 adults identify as being part of the LGBTQIA+ community, of which more than half were under the age of 35. With that in mind it seems fair to say that many younger generations in our faith communities will either identify as part of the LGBTQIA+ community themselves or will know someone who is part of the Rainbow community. I am personally aware of many Queer people who are part of faith communties, many of whom are not open about their gender identity or sexuality. In a recent conversation with one of my gay friends they stated that they wished faith communties would acknowledge that LGBTQIA+ Christians exist. 

Maybe you are sitting here thinking this area is too hard, uncomfortable, or too foreign to engage with. A helpful place to start can be with flags. There is so much passion, love, hope, and hurt wrapped up in the various flags. Each one is a proud representation of an identity allowing people to declare and show which tribe, community or space they are part of.  In my seminar I had a game where people had to guess which flag belonged to which identity. I received a large amount of comments on how people were unaware of the amount of flags that there were. One parent from my church told me how their child had googled all the different types of flags and found an ally flag and how they wanted it in their bedroom. Within the Queer community there are so many different flags representing different identities and there is much thought, care, and love put into them. The first Pride flag was made in 1978 with each colour representing something significant, hot pink - sex, red - life, orange - healing, yellow - sunlight, green - nature, turquoise - magic, indigo - serenity,  and violet - spirit. The Progress Pride flag (2018) was designed by Daniel Quasar to acknowledge and honour Black and Indigenous, and trangender people, particularly those Black, drag, and transgender women who carved space for many rights that Queer people have now: Stormé DeLarverie, Sylvia Rivera, and Marsha P Johnson. The history of Stonewall is an important part of the Rainbow community, and in recognition and honour of the people who fought at Stonewall the Progress Pride flag was created. Quasar also said that the arrow design is important as it is a reminder that there always needs to be forward momentum in fighting for LGBTQIA+ rights. A great way to begin to explore the kōrero around gender, sexuality and Queerness is by looking at these different flags.  

Another aspect that needs to be added into the conversations is that a lot of what western society understands and knows about LGBTQIA+ is from a white or western perspective. For many indigenous communities there was historically more openness around gender and sexuality before colonisation. In many Māori communities there is a reclaimed term of Takatāpui. In India there is Hijra which is seen as a third gender. In the United States for Native Americans there is Two-spirit. So the idea of gender and sexuality being outside the typical western binary is not a new concept for many indigenous communities. While I am not the person to speak on behalf of any of these communities I do want to address that fluidity of gender, sexuality and sex is not a new concept but has also been impacted by colonisation. 

So, as it’s Pride month and I want to leave you with a challenge: start the journey of understanding God and faith in regard to sex, gender and sexuality. Have the kōrero whether that be with yourself, friends, whānau, your minister or your faith community. Here are some resources to help get you started. 

Books/Articles/Theses
Sex, gender, sexuality & other key terms - InsideOUT
Sex difference in Christian theology: Male, female, and intersex in the image of God - Megan DeFranza
Us versus Us: The untold story of religion and the LGBT community - Andrew Marin
Unclobber: Rethinking our misuse of the Bible on homosexuality - Colby Martin
Navigating Faith, Sexuality and Wholeness in Aotearoa New Zealand: Seven LGB-Christian Narratives - Amanda Pilbrow
Two views on homosexuality, the Bible and the church - Megan DeFranza, Preston Sprinkle, Stanley Gundry, William Loader, Wesley Hill, and Stephen Holmes
Queer in Aotearoa New Zealand - Lynne Alice and Lynne Star
Queer Theology - Linn Marie Tonstad

Podcasts
LGBTQ by The Liturgists Podcast
Tatatāpui
The Bible and the Gay Christian (Matthew Vines) by The Bible for Normal People
The Bible and Intersex Believers (Megan DeFranza) by The Bible for Normal People
Heavy Burdens: Seven Ways LGBTQ Christians Experience Harm in the Church By Faith and Feminism

Videos
Asexual/Aromantic
Intersex
Bisexual/Pansexual
Takatāpui experience
Queer Asian
Non-BinaryTrans
Rainbow Pasifika

Websites
Flags meaning
InsideOUT
RainbowYouth

Rosie is an editor at Metanoia and runs a Queer faith group called Axios. She is also the youth co-ordinator at Cityside Baptist and a board member for Northern Baptist Association.